No Down Side….

 

 

Welcome to my blog “No Down Side”. My name is Michelle Morris, and that is a picture of my adorable little dude Grayson. I’m his mom, and I’m married to an incredible man, his father, Andrew. I am also a bonus mom to two stepkids step adults Greg and Brooke, who have been in my life for over 10 years. We also have 2 wildly, energetic kids AJ and Blake. Having Grayson completed our basketball team. Our house is very crazy full, and I like to call myself the Mom-a-ger of chaos. 
I decided to write this blog, not because I was bored and needed to find something else to add to my to do list, but for two reasons.

1. My youngest brother recently died and I feel like I needed to channel my heartbreak and sadness into something more positive.
2. My  son Grayson, who has T-21 (Down Syndrome) is such an amazing human being, and I feel there isn’t enough encouragement “for moms to be” who receive a diagnosis such as the one I received. When you don’t understand something, you fear it, and view it from a negative stand point, as I did.

My hope is that  by showing a small glimpse into our life and my son, it will help take away the fear of the unknown, and cause you to see people with Down Syndrome as human beings like you and I. Our society has a bad habit of de-humanizing people who aren’t like us, or people who can relate to us.

At the time I am writing this, my son just turned three, so I can only speak from the perspective of a new mom. I can  attest to the fact that having Grayson in our family has shown me how much love and support I had in my life. I knew it before, but it wasn’t until he was born that I could see first hand the love that surrounds me on a daily basis. 
Having Grayson has opened my narrow, shallow mind up to the differences people have-yet the similarities every human being desires, which is love and acceptance. 
I was that jackass person who was extremely uncomfortable around people who are different than me, ESPECIALLY any one who had special needs. I was the one who never knew what to say to them if they spoke to me, or tried to be near me. I used the word “retarded” as an adjective to describe annoying people more times than I can count. It’s ironic that I have always prided myself on having such a “diverse” group of friends ( more diverse than most people…yes even more then that friend who just came to your mind). But in my hypocrisy of feeling good about how open minded I was to all races, all cultures and all ages- I was forgetting a complete demographic of people.  Why? Because in some awful way, they must not have been “human” enough to me. I’m completely ashamed to admit that, but  nevertheless so thankful that is changing day by day. I think we all have levels  that we place other people’s humanity in. If they don’t look like us, or have the same socio-economic status as us, we place them a bit lower then us on the human scale.
If your shocked by my admission of this, imagine how shocked I was to discover it. I challenge you to dig deep and see if that double standard that lies with in your heart as well.
This was never more true for me then the  day I received the phone call from the doctor about my test results. It felt like a death sentence. What was once a joyous, exciting and intentional planning of completing our family, now felt like a death sentence, or a verdict of “life with out parole”.
What a difference a few months make? If I only I knew what joy Grayson would bring to my life. If only I could glimpse into my future and see all the stitches I had to place on my heart everyday, from it bursting open with love for him. I cannot go back to those moments, but I hope if you are in my shoes now, this will help. I completely forget almost every day that he even has a “label” and that he is different, because he really isn’t!

Actually yeah,  he is different. He was my first baby to sleep through the night from day one; my first baby to not cry when he was hungry or have a wet diaper; my first newborn to turn his head and locate me at one week old (even in a crowded room of people); my first toddler not to EVER whine or be cranky (until he turned 2 1/2…I will take what I can get); and the list goes on. “Easy baby” was an understatement, to describe Grayson. I don’t even have to heat food up, he prefers it cold! (For moms who make their baby food and heat it up with out a microwave, you know what a pain this is!) I digress..
If you are a new mom and just received a T-21 diagnosis, I hope the small amount of information I share will help you in some way. Every time I was looking for information on google, I would get bombarded with all the health problems associated with the diagnosis, the amount of work they would be, the life change I would need to make, the support groups that were offered, and the many many doctors visits I would need to have during my pregnancy. There were chat rooms with moms debating on having an amniocentesis done, to chat rooms with moms waiting for their diagnosis, to moms super excited they received a false positive and their baby was going to be completely “normal and perfect” ( as if my son isn’t). Everything seemed so just plain sad and depressing! Ugh!! 


I’m here to tell you a different story. Not everyone has the same story I do. Some moms DO have an extremely difficult path with their child, but so far I have not. Our family has had nothing but joy, love and closeness since Grayson came into our world! I think his birth bonded our family in ways I can’t even describe. 


I’m no expert by far, BUT I am a woman who loves to share! No Down Side is me sharing. My experiences, my fears, my questions, my joys and my dreams for my son and our family.  If I can help just ONE woman ease her fear about having a child with Down Syndrome, and show her how amazing and blessed the child she is carrying, and how blessed she will be because of him/her, then mission accomplished!